DEVELOPING YOURSELF FOR YOURSELF
the odyssey chronicles
We generally look at “self help” as a way to be a better employee, parent, teacher, leader and so on. These are great topics and I will never be the one who will tell you to not develop those skills. However, we miss the mark a lot when it comes to self development because we are doing it for someone else. I hardly ever hear individuals talking about self development to be a better version of themselves for themselves. Being a better parent is great, but that kiddo is going to be 18 eventually, being a better employee is phenomenal but eventually you will either switch jobs or retire. So the real question is what time are you spending on developing yourself for yourself?
When we set goals or expectations for our personal self development it can be a bit cloudy. When we focus on development that helps us be a better parent, spouse, or employee it’s a little easier. We have some basic guidelines for what that looks like. The outcomes is more defined, and we bring another human into the equation to use as a guidepost for how we are doing. Kiddos need to be raised up to be productive, effective humans. Employees need to be efficient and goal focused while following the core values and mission of the business. Essentially, the aspects of yourself that you need to work on are laid right out in front of you. Be better at X so Y will develop.
Developing yourself for yourself looks a little more ominous. What defines growth? Who exactly do you want to become through this process? These questions are usually where the train derails. Because we are surrounded by so much noise it’s hard to distinguish reality from fiction. What exactly can we expect from ourselves? We see movie character's and larger than life hero's doing some awesome things, we admire their values and try to emulate them. Unfortunately we don’t live in a movie or on Instagram. Developing our self for our self is predicated on understanding our core values. We have to understand the motor behind the being, if you will. So even if a few of the core values of your heros fit, not all will. Even if a few of their daily actions are repeatable most are not. Knowing how to accurately state our core values can be somewhat of a daunting task. It takes some serious openness and honesty to articulate these. It also takes the willingness to sit with yourself and analyze why we do what we do.
understanding your core value system is probably the most freeing thing you can do for your mind and soul.
Knowledge of oneself is paramount. We are the only ones living inside our head 24/7. So the big question is now, how do we find out what our core values are? Let's start with the movie characters, (I did this because I was raised on 80’s action flicks and love a good action hero movie) take an inventory of a few things.
What do we admire about them?
What values and traits inspire us?
Write these down and expand on why they mean something to you. Let’s take courage as a word, it was something I admired about Rambo, or Rocky. I asked why courage like that inspired me I came up with the fact that challenges, like the ones they were presented with, forced them to be good men. To protect and to guide, no matter what the drama was while doing so. Growth, development, travel, and a few more came from those two questions. Pull apart the attributes and list words that resonate with you. After you have done that with several words, sit back and look at all of them as a whole, what repeats? What stands out? Challenge stood out 3 times for me. Trust, Growth, Travel, Fun, Passion all stood out to me. These all helped me refine my core values.
Strength, Learning, Fun, Passion, Trust
Each time you are faced with a decision, no matter the size, you now have the filter to push that decision through. Does this challenge me? Do I trust the information I was given? Will I grow through doing this? Will I get to travel? Have fun? Be passionate? This gives me a quick and easy “Yes” or “No”. I am no longer burdened with saying yes to something that I really didn’t want in the first place. I have a reason to say no and a reason to say yes!
So to wrap this all up, finding your core values are simply the guide posts to helping you build a better version of you. You can start the process of working to get rid of the things that are sandpaper to your soul and surrounding yourself with things that amplify your growth. Remember, life isn't always about grinding. You can and will achieve more, faster, when you are in alignment with your values. I challenge you to spend the next few days walking through these questions and see if you can find out what your core values are. Trust me when I say this is life changing information and the only one who can access this info is you.
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